Before surgery Leah played on the laptop and colored in her coloring book. She was feeling a good bit better. Then they came and took her for a 3-4hr surgery(including recovery room time). The doctor came out after and told us that everything went well and that she may not need to have her leg and butt grafted and if she doesn't they MAY NOT have to get skin from her scalp. We are hoping and praying this is the case because we don't want them to have to shave her head. She is already having a hard time with her appearance and doesn't want people to look at her. She loves brushing her hair and I'm afraid of her reaction to that. She is terrified of bright lights that get really warm, how she looks,how people see her. She's ONLY 4.5yrs old!!! but she wants to be covered so nobody can see her..she doesn't even want mommy and daddy to look. I have tried to tell her that she is still a beautiful princess but I don't know if I'm helping or hurting the situation and don't really know what to say to her about it. I want to give her the attitude that it doesn't matter that she is beautiful anyway and don't know how to do that. The words aren't helping..I don't know if it's just she doesn't believe me or she doesn't trust me.
The boys are staying with my mom and aunt. John's parents are coming down on Sunday and will be staying at our house with the boys and John to help us. David and Robbie have been tossed around so much. They also are not going to be playing tball after all. I took them out because we won't be able to go watch them play and getting them back and forth to practice/games now with the situation with Leah just isn't possible. Even after she comes home she will have to have special care we'll have to massage her skin, taking her to and from therapy for about the next two years they say. They will also watch the scaring and she will possible need surgeries in the future to help with that. When we take her home we'll have to keep the house super extra clean bleach the tub before and after her baths, bleach her towels, sheets and things because of the risk of infection. She will also have to be very careful being out in the sun because the skin will be so thin and new she will burn SUPER EASY. They say she may not really tolarate the sunlight for awhile. With triplets this is going to get tricky because how do I not hold the boys back from swimming and playing outside because I have to be inside with Leah. They like to swim(and so does she) how will we do that? John works 12hrs/day 5-6days a week. I'm already freaking out about them going home and they haven't even gotten here and we're nowhere near even home....I'm just so stressed and overwhelmed I can't think straight. All three of my kids lives have just been turned upside down and I feel SO EXTREMELY GUILTY because I feel like I should've prevented this from happening in the first place. It's so hard to look at her laying there and know that it happened on MY WATCH. As a mommy we want to protect them and I used to say all the time "Mommy's got you....your alright" Now I wonder if they will ever believe me when I say that again. I'm posting a pic of my sweet baby girl coloring yesterday afternoon after surgery.
No comments:
Post a Comment